Reflections on Connection-Centered Leadership - Issue 26: The Other Hand

Photo Credit: Melissa Swonger; Featured: Sarah & Jessica Swonger, 2005

There is a curious rhythm I have noticed in people who continue growing throughout their lives.

No matter how accomplished they become, they never stop learning. They continue asking questions. They remain teachable. They seek wisdom from people who have walked farther than they have. Maturity is marked by understanding what we know, and even more so by understanding that we don’t know it all. Ironically, it is that childlike wonder that lets us operate with a spirit of curiosity, allowing change and growth to occur.

At the very same time, successful people are looking for someone to encourage, someone to teach, someone to invest in, someone whose path they can make just a little smoother.

One hand is always reaching upward.

The other is reaching back.

I have often pictured it this way. One hand remains open to receive what God wants to teach me, often through others who mentor me for a season or simply come alongside me for a moment. The other stays open to give away what He has already entrusted to me as I come alongside others. With both hands outstretched, those two movements create balance. If I spend all my energy receiving without pouring into others, growth eventually becomes self-focused, and we never reach our full potential. If we spend all our energy pouring out without continuing to receive, we eventually have little left to give and wonder how we were left behind.

Healthy growth was never intended to stop with us.

I have been thinking about that recently as I have watched people step into new opportunities. Whether in leadership, business, ministry, research, or simply the next season of life, we all encounter doors that someone else helped open. A mentor answered a question. Someone took a chance on us. Someone shared knowledge they could have kept to themselves. Someone introduced us to the right person. Someone believed in us before we fully believed in ourselves.

Most of us can point to people who quietly changed the trajectory of our lives.

The beautiful thing is that we eventually become those people for someone else.

This is our legacy. The opportunity to give in ways we may have wished someone had given to us. Perhaps we worked hard and fought for the ground we gained in mind, body, and spirit. The real win is being able to guide someone else in a way that's replicable and eases the journey. When we remember where we came from but are firmly focused on where we are going, we find balance. When we remember where we came from while remaining focused on where we are going, we become less consumed with comparison (less rumination and catastrophizing, too) and more present to the people around us.

Someone else’s success is not our competition. It may be our inspiration, but it takes nothing from us that they succeed. As a sports enthusiast, I know…I know…competitions are healthy, and there is an obvious winner. In the game of life, however, we succeed the more people we bring along the way. And maybe it just requires a shift toward understanding that we’re all on the same team. When one group in society wins, we are all better for it.

There is a unique joy in watching someone discover the gifts God placed within them and then having the privilege of encouraging them as they grow into those gifts. Helping someone else flourish has never diminished what was entrusted to me. If anything, it has deepened my gratitude for the people who did the same for me.

Perhaps that is one reason I am drawn to social enterprise. I have always loved the idea that our work can accomplish more than meeting our own needs. Healthy organizations create opportunities. Healthy leaders develop other leaders. Healthy communities are strengthened because someone chose to build with others in mind. When we build with others in mind, our work begins extending far beyond what we could accomplish alone.

I often think our responsibility is not simply to walk through the doors that open before us. It is to hold those doors open long enough for others to step through as well. Imagine what would happen if each of us approached life that way.

If every lesson we learned became something we shared.

If every opportunity we received became an opportunity to create space for someone else.

If every open door became an invitation instead of a finish line.

None of us arrived where we are without someone investing in us along the way. Perhaps one of the greatest expressions of gratitude is becoming that person for someone else. There will always be someone farther ahead whose wisdom we still need. There will always be someone just behind us who needs the encouragement, perspective, or opportunity we already have to offer.

One hand reaching upward.

One hand reaching back.

Perhaps that is how God intended His people to move through the world. Always receiving with one hand. Always reaching back with the other.

For me, this is the natural expression of Connection-Centered Leadership. When we are vertically connected to God, our inward lives are continually transformed. That transformation was never meant to stop with us. It naturally moves outward as we encourage, mentor, develop, and create opportunities for others.

Questions I’m asking this week:

Who am I thankful for in this season, and how can I let them know what they mean to me?

Who around me could benefit from my encouragement, experience, or time this week?

May we never outgrow our need to learn, and may we never underestimate what God can do through a life that chooses to lift others along the way.