Reflections on Connection-Centered Leadership - Issue No. 6: One More Thing Before I Go
- mswonger
- Apr 23
- 3 min read
On Tuesday, I wrote that expansion feels like exposure. Today, I’m sitting with that in real time. The suitcase is open. My tote bag is stacked near the door. I leave for Vegas this morning to speak at Empower Her and release my first solo book.
And here is what I am noticing: The nervous system settles when purpose becomes clearer than fear.
The emotions are still there. The stretch is still there. But something has shifted. The closer I get to the moment, the less this feels like performance and the more it feels like stewardship.
There is a difference.
Performance asks, “How will this reflect on me?”Stewardship asks, “How can I serve what has been entrusted to me?”
Connection-centered leadership gives me the tools and framework to stay grounded, regardless of what is going on around me or even within me. There are real-life stresses beyond my control that I choose not to ruminate on or catastrophize.
Through an abiding lifestyle, I am able to first connect vertically and remember who God is and who I am in relation to that truth. This strengthens me to let go of what I am holding on to so I can receive what He has for me. He did not give me a spirit of fear. He gave me power, love, and a sound mind. I am not in charge of what others think or do, and nothing can happen that surprises God, who is still in control. This allows progression from vertical connection to inward connection overflows to my outward connections, and that traction becomes a movement. That vertical connection strengthens inward steadiness, and inward steadiness shapes outward presence. When those align, movement happens without frenzy.
This moment isn’t about applause. It isn’t about metrics. It isn’t even about me. It is about letting God steady my pace instead of letting urgency drive it. It’s about showing up anchored. It’s about walking into a room with regulation instead of adrenaline. It’s about letting God steady my pace instead of letting urgency drive it. It’s about remembering that the quiet work long before the stage is what built the capacity for it.
If you are stepping into something visible right now in your work, your relationships, or your calling, let me leave you with this:
You do not need to eliminate fear to move forward.Anchor to what is deeper than it.
In the Bible, “Don’t be afraid” was also spoken to those who were already afraid. It’s ok to name it; that will calm the nervous system and move the reaction from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex, where rationalization and processing can happen. Be curious about it and find out maybe its name is really excitement for all that may happen and all that comes next.
Survival was just the beginning. Then comes calling.Stewardship is the next step as part of the witness.
I am leaving through one door and stepping into another. And I am choosing to enter the room grounded.
I’ll keep you posted…
— Melissa, The Architect of Connection-Centered Leadership The Sage Hill Project
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